I feel as though I have hit a hard spot in my writing career. Everything as come to a standstill. I wish I could say that my book is a best seller, but the book sales so far as been very dismal. I should have known because God had told me "Do not despise the day of small beginnings." It has been very small indeed.
It began with taking the recommendation of a trusted friend. I did not do any research and I did not listen to my other friends who outnumbered her. Publish America rarely puts their authors or help their authors become bestsellers. Yes, I had high dreams for myself. God's word says that God is more than able to more than we can ever ask or imagine according to the power at work in us. It also says that His ways are higher than my ways. So maybe God has something better for me. Mt second story is on hold because I asked my aunt to proofread it for me. So far I got two chapters back.
My heart's desire and my dream is not to become an author although it is one of my desires, but to become what God has called me to become-- a high quality Christian School Teacher and in the state of Washington. It has been a long wait. I have read that Paul the apostle has learn the secret to being content in all circumstances. I wish I could learn it. I try to be content but its not easy. I feel so unfulfilled in so many ways. It is not even normal for me to live like this and I feel like crying. I will be 45 next month but what is that to me when I am still single, still unemployed and still the same. I read in my devotional about Blind Bartimaeus who cried out to Jesus to receive his sight. He threw off his beggar's clothes and receive what he asked for. I have cried out too because my circumstances hasn't changed. However I will not give up. I know that God is faithful to fulfill all his promises. It is just that he is not doing it in my time but in his perfect timing. Although I can't see his hand, I must trust his heart.
